THE BATTALION
Page 2 College Station, Texas Wednesday, April 1, 1964
CADET SLOUCH
by Jim Earle
'FrOm ThE
BaR StOol'
w---?'VTr ~ \\ 11M ^ i *
By ARCHIE CHICKENFINK
Senator Goldphinque stood with
his mouth agape. Facing him were
two nervous advisors with agoniz
ed expressions on their faces.
“Er - - Senator, if you had rather
not go into this further we under
stand, but we though it best that
we tell you the truth.” The good
senator blinked, and then
standing removed his glasses and
thoughtfully scratched himself.
The two advisors looked at one
another, shrugged, and after a
moment of uncertainty, took their
leave.
Goldphinque sighed, and turned
to pick up the telephone. “Give
me my campaign headquarters,”
he said to the operator. Hearing
the other party answer the sena
tor hurriedly launched into the
sad tale that had been related to
him by his advisors.
“Tell me, are they right?”
asked Goldphinque in a trembling
voice. “After all this means the
end of any Presidential aspira
tions if it so.” The party at the
other end of the line confirmed
that it was indeed so. “Egad,
what can I possibly do now ?
This is terrible.” The prominent
horn rimmed glasses had slid
down his nose, and the stooped
stance visibily aged his appear-
The party at the campaign
headquarters thought for a mom
ent, and then hesitantly suggest
ed that perhaps a consultation
with a specialist might help pro
vide a solution. “Don’t be funny
young man,” snapped Goldphin
que. “But I’m serious,” pleaded
the campaign manager. “Now
look here ; ” The sen
ator’s voice trailed off. Thought
fully he hung up and slumped in
an armchair.
The senator thought of all his
past career. He had successfully
maintained his bachelorhood all
these years. They had been good
years — filled to the brim with
purpose and success. He had
battled his way to the top of the
political heap in his state, had
proved his prowess in Congress,
and now at the vital moment in
the primaries had been dealt a
blow by a woman.
Goldphinque knew now that it
had not paid to act regally aloof
during his primary campaign. The
simple fact of the matter was that
he simply could not stand to ad
dress many woman’s organiza
tions, not to mention kissing thou
sands of smelly, squelchy babies.
Taking out a ‘Made in America’
cigar, he clipped off the end with
a battered old pocket knife, and
lit up. Amidst a cloud of smoke
he realized that he had met his
master.
He got up, dialed his cam
paign headquarters again, in a
stilted voice announced his deci
sion. “Well, I know what it means
to you,” said the campaign man
ager, “but under the circum
stances I see no other way out.”
Agreeing, the senator muttered
some more details and then hung
up. It was now almost 7 p.m.
That would make it about 5 p.m.
in Agusta, Maine. He sighed,
picked up the phone and called
the long distance operator. The
call went through and in a waver
ing voice Senator Goldphinque
said “Is that you Margret?” The
female voice suspiciously answer
ed in the affirmative and the
conversation continued.
It took 15 minutes to finish
the call. Shakily putting down
the phone Goldphinque went to
the small kitchenette and took a
double shot of bourbon and an
Alkaseltzer. The small figure
walked with bowed head to the
bedroom and closed the door.
The next morning it was all
over the country, front pages and
the society columns. They all
read practically the same; “In a
surprise announcement last night,
Senator Goldphinque’s campagin
manager announced that Senator
Goldphinque, candidate for presi
dential nomination is now en
gaged to Senator Margret Catch-
Smith. Senator Smith has an
nounced that the wedding will
take place Saturday, and that
consequently she is withdrawing
her candidacy for presidential
nomination.”
Job Calls
THURSDAY
A. M. Lockett and Company,
Ltd. — Mechanical engineering.
Bell Telephone System — Civil
engineering, electrical engineer
ing, industrial engineering and
mechanical engineering.
California Chemical Company,
Ortho Division — Agricultural
economics, agricultural education,
agronomy, animal husbandry, en
tomology and plant pathology.
Halliburton Company — Chemi
cal engineering, chemistry, me
chanical engineering and petro
leum engineering.
International Harvester Com
pany — Business administration,
marketing, agricultural economics
and industrial distribution.
Shamrock Oil and Gas Corpora
tion — Chemical engineering, me
chanical engineering, petroleum
engineering, business administra
tion and marketing.
Southwestern State Telephone
Company — Electrical engineer
ing.
Ferreri’s Triangle Restaurant
Invites You To Try Our
AGGIE SPECIAL
Also, try PIZZA, Spaghetti, Raviola, Mexican Food,
and Seafood.
Book Your Banquets and Special Parties Early.
Accomodations From 10 to 200 Persons
THE BATTALION
Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the
student writers only. The Battalion is a non tax-supported,
non-profit, self-supporting educational enterprise edited and
operated by students as a university and community news
paper and is under the supervision of the director of Stu
dent Publications at Texas A&M University.
Members of the Student Publications Board are James L. Lindsey, chairman ; Delb.
McGuire, College of Arts and Sciences: J. A. Orr, College of Engineering; J.
Holcomb, College of Agriculture ; and Dr. E. D. McMurry, College of Veterinary Medici
The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M is published in College Si
, Texas daily except Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods. Septei
Delbert
M.
:ne.
is published in Colleg<
holiday periods. Septem-
The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M
tion, Texas daily except Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and
ber through May, and once a week during summer school.
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republication of all news
dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in the paper and local news of
.... .... h(
spontaneous origin pu
in are also reserved.
. it or not otherwise credited m the paper
blished herein. Rights of republication of all
other matter here-
at College
ss postage
Station, Te
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News contributions may be made by telephoning VI 6-6618 or VI 6-4910 or at the
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DAN LOUIS JR - EDITOR
Ronnie Fann Managing Editor
Jim Butler - Sports Editor
Marvin Schultz, Maynard Rogers Asst. Sports Editors
“What’s all th’ comotion about over there? I heard that Squirt had an Easter Bunny—
Those guys act like they’ve never seen a rabbit!”
Sound Off
Editor,
The Battalion:
As a Civilian Student and a
candidate for the office of Presi
dent of the Senior Class, I would
like to take this opportunity to
express myself to the student
body.
Today, as most people who are
familiar with A&M must realize,
this University is at an import
ant cross-road in its history. It
must either take the road which
will lead to the excellence about
which we, as students, are al
ways hearing or it can take the
easier path toward the bottom of
the list as a great educational in
stitution. In a period when every
thing is changing so rapidly, it
is easy to see that any Univer
sity must change, too. A&M is
trying to change, and we all hope
for the best.
As students, we should voice
our opinions and offer construc
tive criticisms. Then, after the
decisions are made and when it
is at all possible, we can offer
a united student body in support
of those who represent this Uni
versity. This type of unity, which
we have not had in the past,
would be the best thing that stu
dent government could possibly
offer Texas A&M.
In the past, the student lead
ership has consisted almost en
tirely of men who were in the
Corps of Cadets. Then, such a
situation could be more easily
justified because a large majority
of students were in this organi
zation. Today, however, the situ
ation has changed. The Corps of
Cadets has been greatly reduced
in membership. Many Civilian
students have the ability and time
necessary to be effective student
leaders. Yet, a minority of the
student body has united, due to
petty differences and prejudices,
Girls Are Different From Boys]
>*«>
mydarung
DAUGHTER?
CIRCLE
TONIGHT 2 COLOR HITS
Yul Brynner
In
“KING OF THE SUN”
&
“CHECK POINT”
to continuously reject men who
are well qualified for positions in
student government because they
happen to be Civilian Students.
For men who are supposed to be
mature, this is a shameful situ
ation.
Since the Civilian Students are
faced with minority leadership, it
is hard to work effectively for the
betterment of the school. As a
Civilian Student, I feel that I
have the time and ability to do
a good job as President of the
Senior Class. The President of
the Senior Class, I feel, is in a
good position to help work for
unity and progress in the student
body because the Senior Class is
the one looked toward most often
as the one to represent the school.
With a Civilian Student as the
President, the majority and min
ority of the student body will be
better represented.
I feel that I can do this job
if given the chance.
Paul R. Oliver
★ ★ ★
Editor,
’j&e Battalion:
My name is Hale Burr. I’m
running for the office of Senior
Class President.
Here are several things I’d like
to do next year. First of all, I’d
like to see a more closely united
Senior Class. I believe this could
be accomplished by having class
gatherings, such as steak frys
before home football games. Sec
ond, I would like to see better
communications among members
of the class throughout the cam
pus. This could be done by hav
ing a suggestion box in the MSC
for opinions on various subjects
to come up before the Student
Senate.
My military affiliations, parti
cipation in SCONA, and activities
on Town Hall Staff have given
me the necessary background for
fulfilling the office of Senior
Class President.
Hale Burr, ’65
PALACE
Braun Z 0 SS7^
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for STUDENTS
NEW S'64 directory lists 20,000 summer job
openings in 50 states. MALE or FEMALE. Un
precedented research for students includes exact
pay rates and job details. Names employers and
their addresses for hiring in industry, summer
camps, national parks, resorts, etc., etc., etc.
Hurry!! jobs filled early. Send two dollars. Satis
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PEANUTS
NO FOOLIN’
Class Run-Offs
Slated Thursday
Run-off elections for the 17
positions not decided in the pri
mary class elections March 19 will
be held Thursday in the Memorial
Student Center. The polls will
remain open from 7:30 a.m. to
8 p.m. Wayne Smith, advisor to
the election committee, said the
time has been extended to en
courage more voting.
Shelby Veselka, chairman of
the election commission, announc
ed after meeting Tuesday that
any student who will return next
year as a senior is eligible to
vote for the officers of the Senior
Class.
The candidates in the run-off
for class president of the class
of 1965 are Paul Oliver and H.
Hale Burr. In the vice-president
race are J. Don Vick and Mario A.
Macaluso, while Ronald W. Furber
and William Charles Bender are
hopefuls for secretary-treasurer.
Joel E. Miller and Edward L.
Gainer are on the ballot of histor
ian; Albert W. Clay and David
Moreman are running for the
MSC council; and C. D. Lindsay
and Donald T. Marburger are the
candidates for student entertain
ment of the class of ’65.
The class of 1966 offices are
contested by Richard M. Dooley
and Julian S. Smith for president;
Ronald W. Fletcher and Narcisco
O. Cano for vice-president; Sim
eon T. Lake and Ronald D. Smith
for secretary-treasurer; Harris S,
Pappas and Travis R. Williams
for social secretary. The single
contested yell leader position is
being sought by Joe Busch and
Don Simmons, while Ellis C. Gill
and Donald E. Allan are running
for a position on the MSC council.
The class of ’67 race sees James
B. Heath and Wayne B. Fudge
running for president; Michael D,
Munn and Dennis R. McElroy for
vice-president; Cyrus R. Heaton
and Robert J. Myers for secre
tary-treasurer; Jack E. Nelson
and Arturo E. Esquivel for social
secretary; and Thomas A. Lara-
men and Cam Fawnin are running
for the MSC council.
READ BATTALION CLASSIFIEDS
Hickman Garrett
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By Charles M. Schulz
euT IT JUST MAV BE 7W
THEk' KNOtf WE KNOtd THEV
KNOW (OE KNOW...50
April fool/J
—